Monkswood Associates Newsletter: April 2004
Coaching and organisational constellations

“You can’t teach a man anything. You can only help him discover
it within himself.”
Galileo Galilei

What is coaching?
Different people and organisations use the word ‘coaching’ to mean different processes and outcomes. When you start looking for a definition of coaching in reference documents you will come across a wide variety. As an external coach (ie not an employee of the organisation/person), I view coaching as a form of consulting. It focuses on the client developing and implementing his or her own solutions. I provide a safe, objective and supportive framework for the client to work in. At the end I leave the client able to continue his or her current and future work independent of me.

How does it work?
My experience of coaching, Gestalt psychology and organisational constellations (covered in previous newsletters) made the importance of the ‘field’ clear to me, ie the environment in which the coaching will take place. The whole picture and all that is in it are all intertwining and linked.

Therefore, coaching will not only differ in style within one organisation but also even for a particular person as his/her circumstances change.

“Part therapist, part consultant, part motivational expert, part professional organizer, part friend, part nag -- the personal coach seeks to do for your life what a personal trainer does for your body."
Minneapolis-St. Paul Star-Tribune

from ‘Effective Coaching’ Myles Downey (1999)

What is consistent is the systemic view of things – looking at the different elements in a situation as parts of a system. Organisational constellation is also a systemic tool. Another factor that is consistent is what assumptions I base my stance as a coach on, such assumptions as:

• Everyone has the potential to change if motivated
• Most people’s motivation to realise their potential increases if they have some responsibility for their own development
• People’s ability to realise their potential is enhanced if they have the support they need, including given encouragement
• People have their own set ways of thinking around an issue, which is likely to differ (certainly in detail) from mine and I like to know it

How people I coach have benefited from organisational constellations
The impact organisational constellations has had on my coaching practice can be split into two areas, things that have been re-enforced or remembered and new practices. Most of what has been added or re-enforced relates to my stance as a coach - and as a consultant.

1 Re-enforcement or re-collected
Here are some areas that have been re-enforced or re-collected:

• the systemic view
• listen out for your intuition – the field wants to give you useful information, questions, ideas (in selection interviewing ensure it is backed up with evidence!)
• respect - and react to the person with an open mind: remember that their understanding of ‘reality’ is just as valid as yours
• monitor energy levels – these are a source of information for both coach and client eg interest/ motivation levels, ability to take in information, whether to continue or stop. One client was clearly using a lot of energy hiding from her internal customers what she considered to be weaknesses – eg not enough time to do the design and delivery of an ad hoc programme. When she was talked to one client about the situation they were able to discuss the options and they came to an arrangement that suited both
• openness and honesty – including being open to different ways of thinking, acknowledging the truth of a particular situation, sometimes stating the obvious, yet quite often the obvious can be neglected/forgotten. What is new is that I might suggest the client saying particular sentences (eg ‘I am here because of you’, or ‘While you are in charge, I will follow you’ or ‘I see your suffering’) be it to the actual person or something that represents him/her
• supportive impartiality – it is easy to be entangled and being entangled reduces your usefulness to your client
• be clear and specific - eg “he’s being obstinate about x” rather than “he’s an obstinate person” (in this instance avoiding labelling is important too); clear objectives/success measures – the beginning of the relationship is so important as it lays the foundations down on which the rest is based
• what’s missing – for instance, this could be a person, an idea or an action including acknowledgement, something unspoken or assumed
• establish and manage boundaries – this will reduce the likelihood of entanglement and supply a safer environment for your client to make him/herself potentially vulnerable
• appropriateness to the moment – “The real art … … is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” Jayadeva de Silva.

2 New practices
Now let us look at what is new:

• honouring – I think this is part of being respectful, which is important all the time. However, honouring is a dimension that can be overlooked and yet is so powerful in removing barriers
• give and take – I was aware of its importance in setting up contract arrangements and needed to give it more attention in the discussion with the client as a potential source of difficulty: for example, I need to sometimes give myself more time before responding; I can check whether a client wants my help in a particular situation or it might be better for the client to work harder rather than me
• feeling states – yes, I knew feelings were important. I now have a framework to help me. Primary feelings engender action and can make human contact possible. Secondary feelings are action stoppers: for instance, if it is too painful to recognise that something is over (a job, a relationship, etc) instead of grief people often express anger as an alternative. This secondary feeling is frequently exaggerated, going on-and-on, possibly in an hysterical way, and the more deeply the person is in the feeling the less s/he is in contact with anyone. Being aware of this enables me to give feedback and/or ask pertinent questions. An assumed or systemic feeling is when a person is holding a feeling on behalf of someone else whose ability to hold it is compromised. Quite often it is the most vulnerable or newest person who registers it. When the feeling is returned to the rightful place movement is possible. There is one other feeling state, meta-feelings – at present I need to gain more understanding about this feeling to describe and use it
• accentuate the polarity - sometimes it is useful to suggest an extreme to gain clarity: for instance, I had one client who did not like what was being proposed in his organisation (a re-structuring). I tested the boundaries of his ‘not liking’ to clarify the choices he had and when he might take them
• guilty conscience – feelings of innocence and guilt are associated with conscience, which has little to do with good and evil (remember some of the worst atrocities are committed with a clear conscience as it fits in with a particular standard, be it personal or systemic). I can now more consciously ask around an issue about which the client feels guilty (or even has a clear conscience).

Conclusion
All these stances can easily be used by anyone who wants to improve the contact s/he makes with another person, be it at work or at home. What I have found helpful is that I can now call on them actively, rather than use them accidentally. I have made up a mnemonic just in case this helps you remember the characteristics! And I do not have an MBA!

S ystemic
I ntuition
R espect
E nergy

F eelings
I mpartiality
G ive
H onouring
T ake
S pecific

M issing
B oundaries
A ccentuate

C larity
O penness
A ppropriateness
C onscience
H onesty

I want to acknowledge the important training the Nowhere Foundation (www.nowheregroup.com), and in particular Judith Hemming (www.movingconstellations.com), has given me in organisational constellations. We are all beholden to Bert Hellinger, the founder of constellation work, and his generosity of spirit in how he shares his knowledge and growing understanding of this field (www.hellinger.co.uk).

You are welcome to reprint any part of this newsletter as long as you acknowledge the source, including full authorship, copyright, and subscription information.
  
Please ask any questions that the topic has raised, or share your thoughts and experiences with me, Helen Wade, at:


Monkswood Associates
Bankview, Shortwood, Nailsworth, Glos GL6 0RZ, UK
Tel: +44 (0)1453.835263
Email: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk

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