Monkswood Associates Newsletter
Topic for the Month: Values and Beliefs

My opening thought:

"Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light."
Jennie Jerome Churchill, 1854-1921, American-born mother of British Prime Minister Winston Churchill

Without necessarily doing it consciously, we live our lives in a way that supports our values and beliefs. So it could be useful to be more aware of your own values and beliefs. ‘But I already know what I value and believe’ I can imagine some of you thinking. And you are more than likely right – or is it possible that you know some but not all? Typically, some of our values and beliefs we can easily name, if asked. You may need more time to surface some others.

Let’s take a step back for a moment, as it may be of help to consider first …

What are values and beliefs?

Many definitions of values and beliefs can be found on the Internet and in dictionaries.  I tend to think of values as critically important and enduring principles, standards or qualities for the person who holds them.  They exert a powerful influence on the behaviour of the value holder, whether the person is conscious of them or not.  Some values are more important than others, so they form a hierarchy.  Those on top exert more power over a wider range of situations than those lower down.  It can be the case that ones lower down the hierarchy are in conflict with the higher-level ones.

As for beliefs, they are assumptions and/or convictions that are held to be true by an individual regarding people (look at my last newsletter), events, concepts and even things.  They are closely linked to values.  They often provide support to keep values intact – the more beliefs there are associated to a value the stronger that value is likely to be. 

OK, we now have a bit more clarity about what is being considered, but not the purpose of considering it. 

What benefits are there knowing more about your values and beliefs?

Some of the benefits of knowing more about your values and beliefs are:

• Knowing more about what influences your thinking, decisions, behaviour etc puts you in a stronger place to make choices rather than react in a habitual manner.
• You can review your values and beliefs to check whether you wish to continue to hold them, hold them less strongly (ie move them down the hierarchy) or in a different way, or stop holding them altogether.
• You are in a better position to change, if you so wish, if you know what is behind the behaviour, way of thinking etc.
• It may help you understand what aids your comfort or discomfort in certain situations or with certain people.  For instance, you may find you are not at ease in your job or with a particular person, but haven’t put your finger on what has led to the lack of ease – it could be that you have different, possibly conflicting, values and/or beliefs than the employer or person.
• It may help you to make decisions eg on what option to take.  Usually you will have a better outcome if you take the option that most closely meets your values and/or beliefs – or you may not take up any of the options as none of them sufficiently support your values and/or beliefs. 

So…

How can I get to know my values and beliefs better?

There are a variety of ways to get to know them better.  You may find it easier if you have an outcome in mind, rather than just doing it.  One approach you could take is to sit down and list the values and beliefs that come to mind immediately.  Follow this up with a set period of time, eg one day a week for a month, in which you jot down each time you notice that you have had a thought, made a decision or acted in a particular way because of a particular value or belief.  You could also ask people who know you well what values and beliefs they think you have, giving you reasons for their viewpoint. 

Or you may gain support from a coach (well it was inevitable that this option would come up!).  This is more likely to happen when it is linked to a particular matter you consider would benefit from external and independent input. 

Have a go and see what you find out …

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Call to action …

I am putting together some strength cards so that people have a source of words and phrases that help them work out what their strengths are.  To make sure I include a good range of strengths, rather than just the ones I like or dislike, I need to ask you a favour.  Would you tell me what strengths come to mind for you?  Email your list of strengths to helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk.  If you can describe the way these strengths show that would be even better.

For those of you who give me your list of strengths I will put your name in a hat for the one free copy of the resulting deck of cards.

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Do you want more choice about how you respond to some situations?
Why not consider my monthly coaching service? Request your free exploratory consultation and let me know what support you are looking for: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk

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Share Positive Solutions with friends, colleagues and other people you know. Read past issues of Positive Solutions on my website under ‘Free Information’.You are welcome to reprint any part of this newsletter as long as you acknowledge the source, including full authorship, copyright, and subscription information.
  
Helen Harrison,People Coach, at:
Monkswood Associates
Tel: +44 (0)1453.835263
Email: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk

Helen likes coaching people who want to enjoy excelling as themselves.

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