Monkswood Associates

“Trust is a peculiar resource: it is built rather than depleted by use.”
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Having finished my last newsletter, I realised that I hadn’t mentioned an important topic – trust. A member of staff will only start moving from supporting the blame culture when s/he has built sufficient trust in the manager and/or organisation that they mean what they say! Trust is linked to authenticity. As Sue Clayton said in Simply People (p63) “authenticity in relationships leads to greater transparency”. The more we are able to see each other, understand each other, the more trust will be present and fewer misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

Being authentic is matching:

In other words there is consistency in our message. This is easier said than done! For instance, you have to know yourself – you need to be able to self-reflect, to understand your needs, feelings, how you do things and for what reasons. And you need to show respect for the other person. And more!

Now authenticity is not a reason for being rude! Recently I have been involved in an assessment centre. In one of the exercises, the set-up was that a direct report of the candidate wanted advice about holding a formal meeting with one of his direct reports about her sickness absence record. He was very concerned he wouldn’t be able to cope with what might crop up. During the meeting, one candidate said she was there to help and yet was not giving him the help he wanted. Although she wasn’t actually directly rude, she came across as dismissive of his concerns. He felt she thought he was silly for having the concerns and he didn’t trust the candidate. Not only because she wasn’t giving help even though she said she would, but also her dismissive approach meant he did not want to appear incapable in front of her. During the feedback session with the candidate she admitted that she couldn’t see what the problem was and thought he was making more of it than it was – she recognised then that she wasn’t respecting his perspective on the situation. And that she didn’t really know what his real concerns were! Was it surprising, therefore, that her direct report didn’t trust her?

So to begin with, you may want to help managers encourage trust through persuading them to be more open – open to their own feelings and open to the idea that other people may perceive things differently, without judging the validity of that difference. You may want to remind the manager that respecting differences does not mean s/he has to change – it is more acknowledging and understanding so that s/he is in a better place to respond effectively.

And you may want to help managers encourage trust through persuading them to trust themselves. A manager is more likely to be authentic if s/he trusts him/herself. In issue 36 there is more about trust that you may find of interest. And I am not going to be surprised if some other idea pops in my head after I have sent this newsletter out!

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with the important matters.”
Albert Einstein, German Physicist, Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921, 1879 – 1955

Do you want more choice about how you respond to some situations? Why not consider my monthly coaching service?
Request your free consultation and let me know what support you are looking for: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk

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Helen Harrison, Possibilities Coach, at:
Monkswood Associates
Bankview, Shortwood, Nailsworth, Glos GL6 0RZ, UK
Tel: +44 (0)1453.835263
Email: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk

Helen likes coaching key staff and individuals, who want to
enjoy excelling as themselves.

My opening thought: