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Monkswood Associates Newsletter: December 2005
Happiness
My opening thought for December:
“Happiness is already within you. You just need to learn how to access it.” Chuck Danes
When we raise our glasses at home, we usually say ‘your health and happiness’. These two things are important to us and we’ve been raising our glass quite a lot recently! Further, this is a time when I write a letter to those I haven’t seen during the year. Reviewing the year makes me appreciate how fortunate I am, including the happiness I have in my life.
What makes ‘happiness’?
I thought I would look up the definition of ‘happy’ and found it means ‘lucky; fortunate; expressing, or characterised by, content, wellbeing, pleasure; mildly intoxicated (slang)’! I like the fact that luck and being fortunate are included. However, I also think some happiness and fortune comes through having a particular way of looking at life.
How much happiness do you have in your life?
Positive outlook
My computer decided to do funny things just before Christmas after having printed off a few calendars. I thought I had a virus problem. My immediate thoughts were “What am I going to do without my computer?! I’m sure it’s not going to be easy to sort – oh the expense, and people aren’t around to sort it!” Then I recognised that Christmas was a quiet time for my work and so in that way it had gone wonky at a convenient time. I also remembered that I had a laptop so I could get on with work and maintain contact with friends! My positive mindset started to kick in.
I started to wonder what was it about losing the use of my computer that had really hit me. With only a little thinking, what came to mind was being in control, or not in this instance! So I learnt a bit more about myself – another positive thing.
How positive are you?
You may be thinking “It’s all well and good for people with good lives, but that’s not the case with me.” Well, more of it could be in your life. Here are a few ideas for you to play with:
- For every negative thought find a positive one: this is hard work for those who are unaccustomed to finding the positive in situations. You may need to work up to this level, starting with one positive thought for every five negative ones! It does get easier, even automatic, believe me!
- Think a happy thought or happy thoughts: it is possible to change how you feel by practising thinking happy thoughts. When starting, it is better to make the thought more and more vivid in your mind until you begin feeling the associated good feelings. Apparently, in his book ‘The Endorphin Effect’ the author William Bloom suggests carrying around a list of your 'favourite things' - those happy thoughts and memories you can call on when you want to experience the benefits of a quick burst of the ‘warm fuzzies’.
- Feel you feelings!: rather than trying to sideline your negative feelings, or trying to ‘fix’ them, simply focus directly on your bodily feelings – you may find this easier if you close your eyes. As you let yourself go deeper into the feeling, you will be amazed to find that within a very short time, the stuck sensation begins to dissolve. If you stay feeling constricted, notice if your tension is primarily in your jaw and upper back (anger), your chest (sadness), or your stomach (fear). Stay with the feeling for at least 10 seconds and you will notice it begin to release and flow. When you feel your feelings instead of fearing them, you not only move to a happier state, but also reconnect to your body’s natural wisdom and experience new levels of guidance.
- Notice delightful moments: when you experience delight, happiness, or any other pleasruable responses, really take note. Take a few moments to thoroughly experience the pleasant feelings in your body. You may even be able to use these experiences when practising the second suggestion!
If you have other approaches, tell me and I will share them with the other readers of this newsletter. I will mention your name as contributor unless you ask me to refrain.
Do you want a more positive approach to work and life? Then contact me to find out how I might be able to support you along the way - helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” “Some cause happiness wherever they go: other whenever they go.” |
You are welcome to reprint any part of this newsletter as long as you acknowledge the source, including full authorship, copyright, and subscription information.
Please ask any questions that the topic has raised, or share your thoughts and experiences with me, Helen Wade, at:
Monkswood Associates
Bankview, Shortwood, Nailsworth, Glos GL6 0RZ, UK
Tel: +44 (0)1453.835263
Email: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk