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Monkswood Associates Newsletter: October 2005
Topic for the Month: Fear and Growth
My opening thought for October:
“Change and growth take place when a person has
risked himself and dares to become involved
with experimenting with his own life.”
Herbert A Otto, psychologist and author
The other day I ran an ‘interviewee skills’ workshop. One participant said she wanted to start overcoming her fear of doing presentations. In the past she managed to avoid them. Her current responsibilities made this strategy less likely to succeed. In a relatively safe envirnoment, she took the first step. After some basic skills training she had a go – to great effect. Yes, she has a few more steps to take before she feels competent. However, now she knows the goal is achievable and will happen.
What fear holds you back?
Growth
Growth means change and change involves risk. You step from the known to the unknown. As Henry Miller stated “all growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience”! You may want to do something new - and feel excited about it. And, at the same time, there is that little edge of trepidation.
When you decide to change you move from your comfort zone to a more risky world. Fear often is linked with risk. The truth is fear never goes away completely!
What growth opportunities are you missing?
Learning
SO what can we learn from this example? Here are some thoughts:
- To make growth/change manageable, break it into small steps – the phrase ‘one day at a time’ is a classic example
- Gain some knowledge about the change which will help you in the transition phase [conscious incompetence to conscious competence] – in the presentation example, she was given a possible structure to use along with some key tips on content and delivery
- Take your first practice steps in asafe environment with little outcome dependent upon it (or minimum adverse consequences) – hence practising in a training session rather than in a job interview
- Gain feedback from other people, rather than depending wholly on your own judgement – you need a reality check
- Find ways to practise elements of the growth area in other parts of your life, be it work or home – for instance, use of voice, body language, etc
- Accept opportunities and become more able each time to do the next one
Fear
Fear is useful as it physically heightens your awareness. See it as a friend and it loses the power over you, limiting you in what you do. Instead acknowledge its presence and its value and take advantage of what it gives.
Failure
When something is new, we often fear failure. Failure isn’t an event, it is just an opinion. It is not what happens to us, but how we think about it. Some people say that failure is never having a go at doing whatever your fear prevents you from doing.
So what are you going to do now that you weren’t going to do before?
Go on, take that first step - may be find out other people’s experiences, how they learnt to do it. How can that hurt you? And you never know what growth opportunities will come your way!
Contact me to find out how I might be able to support you along the way - helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk
Essential books about changing people and organisations
“Hug the monster: embrace your fears and live your dreams” by David Miln Smith and Sandra Leicester, Rider & Co, 1997, ISBN 0-7126-7016-5
As it says on the back ‘a monster is anything that seems to stand between us and our happiness, peace of mind and sense of well being’. The monsters it focuses on are inertia, logic, relationship, freedom, and eternal monsters. I’ll let you find out what an eternal monster is! Some you may want to skim and other bits read more.
“Be careful what you water your dreams with.
Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that
choke the life from your dream.
Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.
Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity
for success.
Always be on the look out for ways to nurture your dream.”
Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher, reputedly the founder of Taoism, c 600 BC
You are welcome to reprint any part of this newsletter as long as you acknowledge the source, including full authorship, copyright, and subscription information.
Please ask any questions that the topic has raised, or share your thoughts and experiences with me, Helen Wade, at:
Monkswood Associates
Bankview, Shortwood, Nailsworth, Glos GL6 0RZ, UK
Tel: +44 (0)1453.835263
Email: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk