Monkswood Associates

“Because Dragons are full of wisdom and make wonderful
friends it is vital to learn to walk with them and to have
their constant support.”
Trevor Bentley, author of ‘A Touch of Magic’ and gestalt organisational consultant

Dragons live within each of us! Sometimes they are quiet and go unnoticed. Other times they appear fearsome and perplexing. Their fire and energy seem out of control and wayward. So we tend to suppress them – and so we have difficult enemies rather than wonderful friends.

What dragon(s) are you currently facing?

We all know the Dragon of Fear because it lives inside us in many guises. Yes, the nature of the fear(s) varies. However, fears are not meant to stop you – they are just warning signs. So accept your Dragon of Fear as a friend, who has good intent. A colleague of mine used to feel fear-full when she delivered the Train the Trainer workshop. She thought the participants would be looking out for her mistakes. So she now introduces each new group of participants to her Dragon of Fear. The fear is brought to size and it fades.

Walking with your friend, Dragon of Fear, strengthens you - it gives you courage to face the frightening and the unseen. Good friends do that. Alongside our friend, we can be daring, taking risks and facing our future with confidence. Through acknowledgement of our fear we emerge more whole. We can hear more through listening to all that is said. We give ourselves a greater chance of choice.

For more about fear, have a look at March 2004 and October 2005 newsletters.

Apart from fear, what other dragons do you face?

‘Unknowing’ is one that a few of my brief-coaching clients have been experiencing. Some because they don’t know what’s going to happen work-wise. Others because the future is not coming along at the speed which feels comfortable to them. They feel they are in a void between past and future. I know that some say it is a fertile void, but for many it feels more like a futile and frustrating void!

Instead of denying or fighting what is, see the Dragon of Unknowing for what it is – a source of support and possibility. How about experiencing ‘unknowing’ as a gift, even one more friend? This puts it in a different light. It can support us through those moments of doubt and indecision, when the truth is we don’t know. This will be difficult for people who need to know. Yet, fearing ‘not knowing’ only diminishes you, maybe even belittles you, and increases the hold it has over you.

So accept the gift of relieving yourself from the straitjacket of having to know the answer. Use all your intelligences (verbal, creative, personal, social, spiritual, physical, etc) to be on the alert for what the void has to offer you. Release yourself from the need to pretend that you know, or from strutting your knowing in front of others. Be present to the way things are, including your feelings about the way things are. ‘Being present’ is not the same as ‘accepting’ things as they are. The capacity to be present to everything that is happening, without resistance, creates possibility.

As most skiers know, resistance to ice can take you on a painful downward slide! Traversing it as though it is a friendly surface, in a relaxed state, will usually deliver you gracefully to the other side!

How about the close relative, the Dragon of Uncertainty? This is the land of emergent growth. The moment businesses tie themselves down with predicting the future in detail and acting as though it were true, they reduce their chances to respond effectively to reality. The same is true for people. The Dragon of Uncertainty’s wisdom is unavailable to those who dwell in the land of prediction. I recognise, as I am sure you do, that walking with the Dragon of Uncertainty requires courage and faith in the emergence of opportunities. What happens then is more important than what we thought might happen but doesn’t!

There is also the Dragon of Ambiguity! Now there’s a powerful Dragon if ever there was one! The Oxford Dictionary of English defines ambiguity as “uncertainty or inexactness of meaning in language” and “a lack of decisiveness or commitment resulting from a failure to make a choice between alternatives”. Sometimes lack of clarity is useful. We even use it when we ‘play on words’. If we restrict people so much with clear – in other words tight - rules and regulations, their potential is curtailed. No thinking outside the box takes place. No exceptional performance is achieved. No free expression takes place. The Dragon of Ambiguity can bring us to enter the realm of possibility and potential.

Come on! I’m sure more dragons reign!
Name them so that they are acknowledged and given their due place in our lives.

Are you dissatisfied with a current situation in your life?
Why not consider my monthly coaching service? Request your
complimentary consultation and let me know what support you are looking for along the way: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk

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Please ask any questions that the topic has raised, or share your thoughts and experiences with me, Helen Wade, at:

Monkswood Associates
Bankview, Shortwood, Nailsworth, Glos GL6 0RZ, UK
Tel: +44 (0)1453.835263
Email: helen@monkswoodassociates.co.uk

My opening thought: